Thoughts on 24 Days of Susan
I thought I’d take a minute and share a few thoughts I’ve had about the 24 Days of Susan project. When I first decided to do it, I came up with about 12 to 15 ideas right off the top of my head. I wrote them all down and whenever I went to write I’d just find one from the list then cross it off. Some I didn’t use, and others I combined, I saved two for the end, but I had the list to go off of during the first part. I don’t want to say that those weren’t legitimate gratitudes, they were, but they came readily to mind.
As it progressed, and things got hectic at the house, I had to force myself to sit down quietly before writing and really think for a while to come up with something to write about. It wasn’t hard, but I had to dig a little deeper, force the pressures of the day aside, I had to comb through memories and think about our relationship for a bit before I could settle on something new to write about. I believe that during those times I felt true gratitude.
We have so much to be thankful for that it’s often very easy to be quick with our thanks, perhaps even glib about it. I learned (or perhaps remembered) that there is a deeper layer of gratitude that can be found by really digging, focusing, and really remembering; I actually savored some of the memories like they were a fine food. I’ve had similar experiences through prayer, but never just by focusing my thoughts on an individual.
It was a great experience, I’d recommend similar to anyone who wants to feel deeper feelings about someone. After talking about this with Susan, she shared a thought she was putting into this month’s Relief Society message. I’ll close with it as it sums up my feelings nicely, especially if you equate generosity with love.
“Remembrance is the seed of gratitude, which is the seed of generosity.” - Henry B Eyering
24 Days of Susan – Day 24
I’m so grateful that Susan loves me.
When you first fall in love, it’s all exciting and fun – and who am I to say that isn’t real love? It’s real, it’s just young. As time goes on, if that love is shared, and care is taken to nourish the relationship, love grows. There’s an essay I’ve read a few times in school that I can’t find anymore, nor remember who wrote it – but in it that author talks about love. She describes how when someone tells us that they love us, we doubt; our fears only let us partly believe it – thus, like polishing a stone, it takes hundreds of consistent, loving strokes to finally start to believe that love. However, when someone tells us they hate us, we instantly believe, leaving a deep gash in our polished love – which is difficult to rub out.
I’m so grateful to be with Susan who works with me to continually reinforce our love over time. We have our bumps, but sharing a commitment to continually polish our relationship is absolutely and completely wonderful. Thanks Sue!
24 Days of Susan – Day 23
I was talking to Susan’s friend Melia one day and she told me something about Susan that is a perfect illustration of an aspect Susan that I admire greatly and am so grateful for. She told me that when the Relief Society sisters get together to help clean someone’s home after they have moved, there are several very nasty jobs to do. Often sister’s try to avoid doing certain jobs, and sometimes flat out refuse to do really nasty stuff like clean out from under where the washer and dryer were (which I found surprising in and of itself – but then I remember some of the moves I’ve been to as an Elder and can empathize).
Susan, however, is one who always comes in and says, what do you need done most? She’s always volunteering to do the nastiest, hardest, least glamorous jobs because those are the ones that need to be done.
On one level it’s great that she is willing to do yucky things where others won’t, but that’s not exactly what I’m getting at. What I’m most grateful for is someone who looks at the big picture and asks, “What needs to be done?” Then is happy to go about doing whatever job is most needed, regardless of difficulty or visibility. To her, being a contributer to the overall goal is what’s important.
I’m so grateful to for Susan’s ability to serve wherever she is called and her willingness to do whatever is necessary for the betterment of all.
24 Days of Susan – Day 22
Susan has a geeky streak that she tries very hard to hide. In fact, it may not be wise to say that, but what the hay?
Her geekiness centers mostly around fantasy and science fiction. She loves a good fantasy tale, but I think her tastes have run a little more sci-fi these days. I don’t know what else to say about it without getting in too much trouble so I’ll just say that I’m grateful to be with Susan, who shares my love of geeky stuff.
24 Days of Susan – Day 21
Susan loves nature. She has all of the seed and nursery catalogs memorized. She knows the names of more animals than I even know exist. She loves living things. She caresses leaves and literally hugs trees. I didn’t even know it was alright to handle plant leaves until I met Susan.
She loves dogs and other domestic animals as well as all the wild ones.
Back when Susan and I were just married, we’d drive up to Salt Lake from BYU to visit my cousin for X-Files night. While waiting for it to start, my cousin was speed channel surfing to pass the time. An image of an eye flashed past – just a great big eye on the screen. Susan exclaimed, “Ooo a mudskipper!” as the channels continued to fly by.
My cousin stopped flipping, his eyes narrowed as he backed up several channels to get back to the eye channel. As soon as he landed on it, the narrator said, “the mud skipper’s native habitat…”. My cousin just couldn’t believe it, it made quite an impression on him. I’d seen similar demonstrations before and since.
Susan takes all bugs and spiders outside rather than squishing them – or rather she has one of the boys or me take it out rather than squish them. I’ve noticed that the kindness shown toward animals, large and small, rubs off on the rest of us, softening our hearts for all kinds of things.
It may seem kind of silly, but I’m grateful for Susan’s tender heart knowledgeable mind toward animals and plants.
24 Days of Susan – Day 20
Susan can be so ambitious, even stubbornly so, but only on certain types of things. For instance she’s taken to home projects. In the last few years Susan has: replaced faucets and sinks, installed a disposal, painted the house, installed a drip sprinkler system, built a raised-bed garden, installed dry wall and insulation in the garage – including texturing and painting, and helped install a new laminate floor.
Susan didn’t just get me to do these things, or passively help in some way, she actually did them (well, the floor and the garage we did together).
A while ago we had a friend of ours over named Beth who, I think, really inspired Susan on the home do-it-yourself front; she helped Susan replace a faucet while she was visiting. Beth is really amazing in this regard and told Susan about all the stuff she’d done to her place. Susan, I think, borrowed courage from her and has been a can-do DIY’er ever since.
She’s a little gun-shy right now because we’ve gotten in a bit over our heads with this whole house painting thing, but we’ll get through it and be better for it in the end, I’m sure. I’m so grateful to be married to such a capable do-it-yourself’er. It has enriched our life and saved us a lot of money. Plus she gets me to do things that I enjoy that I probably wouldn’t have done otherwise. I love it.
24 Days of Susan – Day 19
When Susan and I first met, we were both just returned from our missions. We went out a few times but it didn’t go anywhere; I think we were both just not ready to be serious yet. We remained good friends, living in the same apartment complex. We even took some classes together.
After our Geology class we would often go over the the Harold B Lee library and take the stairs to the bottom floor. I don’t remember what kinds of books they had on that floor but very few people went down there. We would sit in the stair well, which was sealed off from the rest of the library to keep the sound of tromping feet from the library, and talk; sometimes for hours. It was just so easy to talk to her about anything and everything. Politics, science, dreams, books, loves, hopes, or whatever; we could cover it all.
We were both seeing other people at the time, and we would talk about that sometimes. In retrospect, we were essentially saying, “Yeah, so and so is really great, they’re just not you.”
For me, it was my ability to talk with Susan about anything that made the relationship so wonderful and, in essence, told me she was the right and best person for me.
With the stress and drain of bringing up 4 kids, it seems like we just don’t get to talk as much anymore – or at least a lot of our conversations are on the business of running the family. I need to rectify that. However, I still find it easy to talk with Susan, on any topic, and I’m grateful for that.
24 Days of Susan – Day 18
When Susan was a little girl, she wanted to be an Indian when she grew up. She was very disappointed when found out being a Native American was more a genetic inheritance than a career path.
I remember another dream Susan had was tramping through a medow with young son and daughter and a golden dog in tow, exploring the great outdoors. A real nature-girl. Unfortunately this dream hasn’t really worked out yet either. No dog, and 4 kids; and while we like to go camping, we tend not to tramp in meadows or hike much.
However, she had this other dream growing up, that she would marry the man of her dreams and move out west. Which is kind of a funny dream because she already lived in Washington, there wasn’t a whole lot west of where she lived.
Yet, here we are, living in Vancouver, living the dream. Vancouver, is a couple hundred miles West of Richland. I’m grateful that she considers me that man of her dreams. I’m not sure it’s always deserved, which only makes me more grateful.
Perhaps there’s still time to get that golden dog…
24 Days of Susan – Day 17
I’m grateful that Susan is such a great scriptorian; a real doctrinal master. Sitting next to her in church can be kind of fun. She will often nudge me and expound on some point the speaker or teacher is talking about, bringing in some doctrinal reference to scripture or something a prophet, or scholar has talked or written about.
She’ll almost never raise her hand to share with the class, however. She doesn’t like to come across as a know-it-all, I think. Plus there was that incident with the BYU professor. See, back when Susan and I went to BYU, they needed more teachers to teach all the required Book or Mormon classes. So, they looked to LDS professors in every department to teach the classes. It was an interesting experiment, I don’t know if they still do it today.
Susan had this guy who was a former mission president. The class was for return missionaries, so most of the class was young men. Susan, I think, was the only woman in the class.
Anyway, the teacher would ask a doctrinal question to the class. Susan would raise her hand, none of the men would do anything. Susan would answer a full, rich answer. It seemed to bother the instructor that all the answers to his “tough” questions were only answered by Susan.
Soon, he started asking questions and directing them to the men (elders), then reluctantly turn to Susan who, like Hermione Granger, was waiting, hand in air, to give a full explanation.
At one point, his reponse to Susan was, “My, someone has certainly trained you well.”
She was so mad. As if someone had to train her, that she hadn’t bought that knowledge through her own effort and study. What a piece of work.
I don’t know if that experience has anything to do with her keeping her thoughts to herself or not. But, whatever the reason, I’m grateful she has such a rich gospel insight and nudges throughout the meeting me to share her little secrets.
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